


The Aftermath

by victimofmywoes



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, POV Second Person, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-25 09:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victimofmywoes/pseuds/victimofmywoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Irreplaceable. The Naruto version. He has always been an egotistical pig, doing things according to his wishes, treating you like shit. But little did you know a breakup could bring your entire life crashing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Aftermath

_This is really the limit!_ You think as you watch the stoic man across from you in the café sip his coffee with such a bored expression on his face that it takes all you've got to keep yourself from picking up your orange juice and throwing it on his face. He looks up at you when you call him an egotistical pig and just rolls his eyes and calls you melodramatic. The seething fury that boils your insides makes you see red.

You rub the bridge of your nose in agitation with your index finger and decide to call it quits. This has been going on since the past three years and despite the fact that you  _knew_ it would turn out like this, you decided to give this relationship a try and now after three years you realize you're practically at the end of the rope. The guy is nothing but a selfish bastard who only cares about himself.

"You know what; I can't take this shit anymore. Let's break up." There is finality in your tone and it gives you immense satisfaction to see the slight widening of his eyes but then he rolls them again and you know you're done with putting up with this pompous asshole's shit.

You walk out of the café before he can say anything more, before the hurt grows so big that there is a gaping hole in your chest and you give in to the weakness that threatens to invade your senses.

 _It hurts,_ the fact that the mean bastard hasn't called for a complete week really hurts and you really wish you were strong enough to let go and just forget about everything. You haven't even gone to the university in the fear of confronting him accidently or any other godforsaken reason.

But then again, in retrospect you think his behavior towards you hasn't been all that bad. True he may have been an ego maniac and really secretive about his relationship with you but then at the end of the day it was always  _you_ he came to. No matter what, he was the one who listened to you, gave you appropriate suggestions when required and actually became a  _friend_ and an excellent lover.

In the end, you sit down with your ramen in front of your television and recall all the times Sasuke stood you up and supplied silly excuses, and all the times he just wanted nothing more than sex, times when he was completely unapproachable all cold and stoic. The anger resurges and you just want nothing more than to give the bastard a taste of his own medicine.

You're still sitting there chewing the ramen off your chopsticks when you hear your phone ring and the tempo of your heart increases threefold when you see his name flashing on the screen. A part of you, the just,  _loyal_ bit of you that loves him to pieces, the part of you that's actually  _overjoyed_ at the fact that he called wants to pick up the phone and tell him that you take him back despite him being a complete  _ass_ for disregarding your feelings.

And yet the other part of you, the  _big_ part of your soul that is mad at him, the part of you that doesn't have it in itself to forgive him anymore, the part of you that has put up enough with his shit doesn't let you pick up the phone. You watch as the missed calls keep accumulating till he gets tired of calling and after your phone finally sits in silence, you grab it tight in your hand and clutch it to your chest, willing the tears you had promised yourself you wouldn't shed.

The next morning you wake up to constant knocking on your door and you groan in anger as you get out of your bed and make your way towards the door annoyed at the incessant ringing of the doorbell. But then before you actually wrap your hand around the handle to open it, the thought that it could be Sasuke flits across your mind and you just stand there frozen contemplating between opening the door and leaving things as they are. Maybe it's because you're afraid that opening this door is going to be like giving him another chance and you're still pretty afraid to take that leap so you just calm your wildly beating heart still hidden behind the closed door like a coward.

"Naruto open up! It's me Gaara," the person on the other end finally speaks and you breathe a sigh of relief before your brows furrow in a frown. The fact that the person rapping on the door isn't Sasuke makes your heart clench and the anger renews itself. But somewhere down the line you had known it wouldn't be him, knew how big his pride was to stoop down so low that he has to come over to see you.

You open the door and look at the face of a person you haven't really considered a friend yet. Gaara was someone Neji introduced you to and so far you have only met the guy twice or thrice to actually refer to him as a friend.

"What're you doing here?" Not only is that a genuine question but given the need of the hour, one of the most important too.

"Taking you to college with me," he says and there is finality in his tone and firmness in his eyes that you think is downright unnerving.

What really irks you is the fact that you're not even good friends with this guy and yet he is here worrying about you. "What is it to you?" you ask sounding completely confused.

Gaara sighs. "You're as oblivious as always, aren't you? Looks like I'm going to have to spell it out for you. I like you Naruto or should I say love?" He regards you with the same stoic expression that someone you had come to love used to wear all the time but the confession takes you so much by surprise that all thoughts of Sasuke fly out of the window.

"What?"

"You heard me Naruto," Gaara says and there is an edge to his voice which makes you wonder if he's nervous about this.

"I'm sorry Gaara, I don't understand…" you trail off waiting for him to fill in the blanks but he just stands there regarding you with the same neutral expression he always has on his face and you just squirm under his gaze.

"I heard you broke up with the Uchiha," he says a little too nonchalantly for my taste and the urge to fidget is unbearable for you. "I know you still love him but I am willing to wait for you till you can fall in love with me."

"So you came to…I don't know…pick up the pieces?" You ask slightly disgusted at the way he's trying to pounce upon this opportunity.

He shrugs. "Well if that's how you wish to put it, fine by me. Rebound or your new love, it's all your choice."

You can just stare at him and marvel at the fact that this guy will have absolutely no problem being used. The fact that this might be a joke comes a little too late but you laugh in disbelief and just stare at him waiting for him to join in on the humor. He doesn't and just regards you with the same colorless expression and you can only watch the way your laughter turns strained and dies a pathetic death.

"Get out of here," you say.

He just continues to stare at you as if you haven't spoken. You look heavenwards and pray for some patience as you lick your lips and prepare your speech, "Look Gaara," you begin running a hand through your blond hair in agitation, "I'm honored you feel this way but just so you know I don't feel this way, okay?" you say when he does not even budge an inch. You heave a sigh of breath and lick your lips thinking about the best way to make him go away. "I still love Sasuke," you finally say. Your heart twists as he winces and his eyes widen with obvious hurt. He nods slowly and turns around to walk away.

"I'm willing to wait," he says and turns around to regard you with a long look. You raise your eyebrows in anger now but then he just turns back and walks away. You frown the entire time you hit the shower and get dressed for college. You can't get Gaara's eyes out of your head. They were just so full of…resolution that you seriously think the guy must be a masochist.

By the time you make your way to the university your thoughts shift from him and go back to Sasuke again. Now that you think about it, the fact that it wasn't Sasuke at your doorstep this morning kind of hurts, especially after all the calls he had made to you last night. It's really disappointing and you're just thinking about the insignificance you must bear his in life, for him to not come and set things right. You really wonder if saying sorry is all that difficult.

You're just making your way to your locker when your heart stops in your chest when you see you him leaning idly against your locker and staring at his hands. Your entire being freezes when his dark eyes meet yours and you see a relief and happiness in his that makes your heart flip over with similar emotions. However, seeing the coward here takes you completely by surprise and in panic you take an about turn and walk out of the building.

You hear him call your name and then his call to slow down but it only makes you walk faster. His next words really take the anger surging inside you to a new level. "You're creating a scene," he says and the urge to simply turn around and pelt your anger on that beautiful face of his is overwhelming but you fight it down. He catches up to you, grabs your shoulder and turns you around.

You curse his strength and can't help but get irritated by the minute. You hiss at him to let go of you and with as much disgust you can summon up you shrug your shoulder to ward off his offending hand. His eyes dart everywhere before they land on you again and he asks you a question that really makes you question the guy's sanity.

"Why the fuck are you avoiding me?" You don't fail to notice the way his eyes dart everywhere, taking in the number of people watching this little charade.

The urge to laugh at his face in disbelief grabs you but you squelch it. Apparently the guy still hasn't understood the implication of the statement you uttered that day in the café, so you decide to make it clear to him. "We broke up Sasuke!" you say with finality in your tone, a shade of 'duh' coloring it and he gives you a look that says, so what?

He rolls his eyes and your coil your hands into fists fighting the want to strangle him. You seriously doubt your sanity for dating a man like him. And then he says exactly what's written on his face. "Can't believe you're still talking about that," he makes it sound so condescending as if your feelings never mattered, as if he doesn't even give a flying fuck towards what you think, what you feel.  _Nothing!_  For him, everything is about himself and the anger intensifies.

He takes you by the hand and leads you to a more secluded area but it's not till you notice his  _Lexus_  sparkling under the sun that you read what's on his mind. You jerk your arm in anger and practically scream unmindful of the people staring at you while he just looks around noticing the attention you have unconsciously drawn towards yourself and the frown on his face keeps increasing in intensity.

You can't help but marvel when he looks at you with the most  _exasperated_ look on his face and says, "Let's talk elsewhere, please?"

But there is nothing left to say and you tell him that exactly. He sighs in anger but you know that's his limit. He shoots you a look when he takes your name and you know there is a warning laced in it but you are nothing if not stubborn. You return his gaze with one an adamant one of yours and turn back to walk towards the building.

"Fine," you hear him yell at your retreating back, "Do whatever you want." For someone who really wished to avoid a scene, he sure did a great job. You smile sadly and say goodbye to him in your heart. The onslaught of tears in your eyes is really your undoing and you're just making your way to the washrooms when a hand on your shoulder stops you and you look into the aquamarine eyes of Gaara. He grabs your hand and yanks you behind the administrative building regardless of how many times you try to yank your arm away and curse and scream at him to let go. You curse him and his immense strength. He lets you go once you're away from public scrutiny and leans against the administrative building.

You stare at him totally astounded. He looks heavenward as if deep in thought and then looks at you. "Now cry," he says and you just stare at him wide-eyed, waiting for him to do  _something._ Nothing perverted or anything despite the fact that you had pegged the guy as someone who would take advantage of the situation, and well your predicament isn't exactly the most unusual in the world.

"What?" he asks self-conscious suddenly and you just give him a what-the-fuck look, a headache beginning to form at the base of your skull. You can't find words to describe all that's transpiring in your head, so you just gape at him with an open mouth. He looks uncomfortable as he shifts his position and fidgets with the collar of his maroon polo shirt. "You looked like you were about to cry, okay?" he says as if that explains the reason why you had been dragged all the way to this area and you continue to stare him owlishly. "I didn't want anyone else to see you cry," he finally bites out and despite the situation you feel an oncoming smile and it's not till your lips have parted with your teeth showing and Gaara mirroring the expression that you realize that it's the first time since the breakup when you voluntarily smiled.

"Thank you," you say to him, more out of gratitude for distracting you than for the fact that he brought you here, away from the public eyes. He just nods and pats your head in acknowledgement and you know it's the start of a new friendship.

Gaara doesn't exactly refer to you as his friend. He insists on being called your boyfriend and despite your constant warnings and threats, he stays unperturbed. However, he continues to stand outside your apartment every morning and insists on walking with you to the university. Being with him brings you peace. He is awkward and totally unsure about a lot of things but after a month of hanging out with him, you realize it's just the way he is. You find it sweet and extremely funny when you tease him about something and he gets serious with a stricken look on his face. You can't help but laugh at him.

You've been feeling light around him but that's only because he is a friend to you and keeps you company, plays on the PlayStation with you, hangs out with you and tries to be the perfect boyfriend, even though you're still not dating. You don't even realize when a month passes till he gets the cake and champagne and reminds you in his monotone with his poker-face still intact, making you burst out in laughter as you cut the cake and drink yourself silly on champagne.

A month and a half into the "friendship" and you realize he's beginning to take things up another notch. You're not unconscious of his little touches here and there and the way he sometimes tends to get over-possessive when you're with girls or any male he thinks is "trying to come on to you". It is at times like this when an image of Sasuke flits across your mind and you feel that pang in your chest where his space was. And as if Gaara realizes this, he doubles his efforts of trying to make you forget about Sasuke completely.

It is towards the end of the second month when you finally decide to give up Sasuke completely and think of a relationship with Gaara. At first it is difficult. The tentative brush of your lips against his is different, the way he frames your face is different, his aquamarine eyes are different, his voice, talking style, everything is worlds apart. In a way it helps. All you have to do is think and remember the fact that the man you are with now is not the same egotistical pig from the past. Gaara cares, really cares about you as compared to Sasuke who always put his needs first and did stuff according to his wishes. So that night, you let go of Sasuke completely as you embrace Gaara and accept your relationship with him.

The incessant ringing of the doorbell jars you out of your sleep and you're totally inclined to tell Gaara to piss off and leave you the hell alone when Gaara's voice comes from somewhere close to your hipbone. "I'll go and see," he says and your heart thumps wildly in your chest at the sound of his voice. He makes his way out and you try to calm your racing heart. You're startled because you had thought that it was Gaara at the door, but then the events of last night unfurl in the crevices of your memory and gingerly you raise yourself from the bed and make your way to the door grabbing a pair of black boxers you do not recall owning on your way, wondering who is it that's taking so much of Gaara's time.

You walk behind him and snake a hand across his torso whispering the morning greeting in his ear one eye opened as you ask him who is it at the door. And then your eyes land at the person whom you least expected on your doorstep. Karma really has to be a bitch you think as your arm falls limply from Gaara's body. You're still staring at Sasuke open-mouthed, taking in his gaunt face and his red-rimmed eyes, when Gaara turns around to wrap you in his arms and kiss you, right in front of Sasuke.

That was low, you think as your heart thuds madly in your chest and you try to move out of the embrace and the kiss. But before you actually succeed in doing that, Sasuke has already made a run for it. You call after him and try to chase him but Gaara's hand on your arm stops you. "Let him go," he whispers slowly and you see the anger in his eyes. You're thinking about a million things at once but the image of a sad and forlorn Sasuke is branded into your mind and your heart tells you to chase him while your mind calls you a fool. Gaara is still holding your arm and staring at you with an inscrutable expression. And finally, after what seems like  _ages_ sanity returns.

You nod curtly and make your way into your apartment. You broke up Sasuke and you're with Gaara now.

And so you move on. You know you're avoiding him like the plague. You're actually thankful for the fact that his major is Modern Japanese while yours in Japanese History so the chance of accidently seeing him in classes does not exist. Your relationship with Gaara is sailing smooth as ever. If anything, Gaara has redoubled his efforts of "wooing you" and you can't help but be touched by his love for you.

You laugh when he forcefully pays for your ramen one afternoon in the cafeteria and tell him how perfect a boyfriend he is when a guy screams his name. He turns around and you freeze on your place stunned while an equally stunned pair of eyes belonging to Uchiha Sasuke stares back at you. Subconsciously you realize that Gaara has wrapped his arm around you. You scowl when you take in the man who he is seated beside him.

Blond hair, you notice,  _dyed_ of course but the color of his hair his yellow, the  _exact_  same shade as yours, and when he looks up and smiled charmingly at Gaara you notice the color of his eyes is blue – the  _exact_ same shade as yours again. You can't help but stare incredulously at your  _ex._ You take his name in the same tone; the same shade of disbelief that you know is pretty evident in your eyes.

He looks at you and the emotions dancing in his eyes are transparent. You see everything in their inky depths – the jealousy, want – it's all there in those eyes of his. But being the bastard that he is – he leans closer to that man and wraps him arm around him.

You can't help but laugh internally at the poor farce that he's holding up. He overdoes it. The affection, brief touches here and there everything. You know that the eyes which look into yours are desperate for a reaction from you as they seek some  _sign_ of reaction from you. Sasuke has always had a flair for drama. Gaara and you are just standing there and you're waiting for the formal introductions when Sasuke suddenly shoots his _boyfriend_  the smile he had only reserved for you and says, "Diedara, let's get out of here shall we?"

The urge to puke your guts out at his over honeyed tone is overpowering and then when the man named Diedara looks so love-struck, the kiss Sasuke gives him is the perfect icing on the dramatic cake. With that, he takes the hand of the man you know is your replacement and gets out of there – fast.

You can't help but smile at his naivety. The man has absolutely no clue that you can see right through him.

Gaara mistakes it as you being happy for him and tightens his hold on your waist and leans down and kisses your temple. "I'm glad you're happy for them," he says but you don't bother correcting him. Far from that you burst out laughing and just go and sit on a new table and strengthen your resolve to forget Sasuke completely.

On the occasion of Gaara's birthday you decide to hit the club downtown. You've heard about it from your friend Kiba and you've been saving money for Gaara's birthday so you think it'll be a fun evening. You buy the drinks while you seat him in a private booth and quickly make your way to him with the beer bottles. The booth is good as it offers you a pretty good view of the dance floor.

"Happy birthday Gaara," you say as you lean closer to him for a kiss. The kiss is brief and you laugh when Gaara grunts in annoyance before shifting you on top of him for a proper one. But before your lips can actually meet again, you're staring into the furious eyes of Sasuke and the next second he grabs you by your biceps and hauls you off Gaara and before you can say anything he's pulling you out of the club in spite of you screaming at him to let you go.

Once you're outside he pushes you against the brick wall and puts his hands on either side of you. You try to move away but his hands are strong beside you and he's breathing heavily. "Let me go," you finally bite out when it doesn't seem like he has any intention of moving his hands.

He takes your name in the same tone, with the same huskiness attached to it like he used to in the past. But this time there's something off about it. His eyes are almost like a wild animal's as they gaze deep into yours; filled with a desperation you can't quite understand. He stares at you and you can almost  _feel_ the touch of them on your skin. As if he wasn't his eyes but his hands on your face. He lifts his hand and brings it closer to your face but before it can actually make contact with your skin, a hand grabs his and you watch stupefied by all the longing and everything that was  _Uchiha Sasuke_ as Gaara punches him to the floor.

Sasuke spits the blood on the floor and glares at Gaara and the next second all hell breaks loose. They fight like animals, punching faces, pulling hair and even though you try to intervene, Sasuke just punches you and then pushes you away causing you t fall and a tiny pebble scratches across your left eyebrow. You feel the skin breaking and the rush of blood but it is nothing more serious than the fact that Sasuke is now sitting on Gaara and punching the life out of him.

You scream at him to stop. Time and time again you try to push him off Gaara but each time you get close enough, Sasuke just pushes you away. Finally, you turn him around and slap him hard across his face in anger telling him that's enough. Sure enough, unfocused eyes widen sharply and a second later, sanity returns in those midnight eyes.

You are so filled with disgust for Sasuke that you turn away from him and look at your boyfriend who is out cold and pain and fear grip you as you stare at the pale face matted with blood and eyes swollen with the force of Sasuke's punches. Worry and love, so strong, so potent grip you and you're just about to make your way to Gaara when you hear Sasuke laughing.

You're angry at him. Angry for hurting Gaara, angry for the way he was in the relationship, angry at his arrogance, angry at so many other things that you just want to do to him what he did to Gaara but then you look into his eyes, look at the  _desolation, desperation,_ at the  _frustration_  you see in them but rather than venting out your anger you just take him by his shoulders and shake him hard.

There's something wrong. You know there is. You can see it in the way his eyes glint like that of a madman's, hear it in his laugh.

"Nothing is working," he says and you just look at him all confused, his eyes haggard and lost. He whispers it again and your confusion only doubles when you see the tears running down his face. He is still sitting on Gaara and you decide to pull him off your boyfriend.

"What isn't working," you ask as you pull him off Gaara and seat him gently against the brick wall where he had pushed you forcefully a while ago. He probably doesn't notice and you heave a sigh of relief which changes to one of complete bewilderment when he just takes your name and leans into you. He is weeping openly now, leaning against your shoulder and just crying as if letting out all his bottled up emotions. He says your name again, in the same hoarse tone that just begs to be heard.

Softly you whisper, "Yeah I'm here," and pat his shoulder a little awkwardly.

He sniffs like a little child and looks at you. "I can't find a replacement for you," he says.

You just stare at him aghast because what he just said makes no sense whatsoever! You just stare at him in utter puzzlement and then when he doesn't say another word you finally bite out, "What?"

He doesn't say anything else. He just sniffs again and stares at you as if trying to tell you everything through his eyes. You may read his eyes like a book, but the emotions swirling in them are too many to understand and you can't help but look at him completely clueless till he finally takes a deep breath and speaks.

What he's saying sounds completely retarded. He's saying something about how he could never express himself, how he tried to  _replace_ you, telling how he always slept with someone who resembled you in just  _any_ way so that he could make himself believe that it was  _you_ he was sleeping with but then at the end no one could replace you because it was  _you_ he needed at the end. He apologizes a thousand times over and over and tells you he can't live without you.

You know he is watching you closely, taking in all the emotions that play on your face when you listen to him. The disgust is strong as it wells up inside you but then above everything you really pity him. You move your eyes from his torn face to that of Gaara's figure on the floor and think about everything that has transpired since you two broke up. You bite your lip pity still evident in the blue of your eyes.

"Come back to me," he whispers hoarsely and for the fraction of a second you are tempted to take up his offer but then you stare at Gaara's still figure and think about all that he did for you and all the times he was with you, he was there for you and when you look at him again, your eyes are clear of all the pity and temptation.

You push him away and bend down to take Gaara's head in your lap. Gently, very gently you push away his blood red hair and run your fingers delicately over the scar that rests there. A scar Sasuke put on him. You tell him everything as your hands absently play with his hair. You start from the time since the two of you broke up and tell him how Gaara helped you, how he was always there for you, willing to be the rebound despite the fact that he knew a rebound relationship wouldn't work out. You tell him the words you've never told Gaara. You tell him you love Gaara and that it would be best if he moved on because you have moved on.

You bend down till your nose is almost touching Gaara's cheek and very softly whisper a thank you in his ear because now you know; now you realize and you must tell Sasuke what you've learnt now. "What I've learnt from this relation," you say your face still pressed against Gaara's cheek your mind in the little world you created with Gaara where he loves you and cares for you, "is that there is life without you." And then you kiss Gaara.

You gasp softly when Gaara opens his lips under you and kisses you back. It just makes you wonder for how long Gaara had been awake and listening to everything. You decide to ask him later and just bask in the warmth of that mouth under yours. You don't even notice Sasuke leaving but just kiss Gaara with all the love you have for him in your heart.

"Naruto," Gaara says as he gazes deep into your eyes and sits up a little gingerly and you help him at once. He leans against you and smiles softly. "You finally let him go," he says and you smile against his hair.

"Yeah," you say as he looks at you and closes the distance between you two for another kiss. "I guess I did."

The kiss is the start of something new. Like purging the past and starting again with honest affections. You push him off before things get too heated suddenly conscious of your surroundings and ask, "Let's take this elsewhere?"

He smiles again and your heart soars at the way it can transform his stoic appearance and make him look extremely attractive. He winks at you before standing up with some trouble and your assistance.

"I love you Gaara," you say and realize for the first time how much you actually mean it.

He laughs as he takes your hand in his and steers you in the direction of his Honda. "Yeah," he breathes softly, "Yeah I know."

* * *

The next morning you wake up to your phone ringing off the hook. You open your eyes completely distorted and pat your bed awkwardly searching for the device, your mind still foggy with the sleep. Beside you Gaara groans in annoyance as he finally finds the screeching device and hands it over to you before turning around and going off to sleep again.

You glance at the alarm clock at your bedside before opening the flap and frowning at the name that flashes across the screen.  _Just what the hell does Neji want at five in the freaking morning_ , you think as you press the green button and take his call.

And what you hear at the other end makes your stomach drop and your blood run cold as you run to the direction of the bathroom and empty out your stomach in the toilet bowl.

_It can't be! It just can't be!_

Your heart pounds maddeningly and you just scream at Neji, telling him that's impossible! But Neji's next words just stop every thought running through your head and the next second the phone clatters on the tiled floor of the bathroom and you sit there staring unseeingly at it.

" _His body was found in the Nakano River."_ Neji's words run through your head over and over growing louder by the minute as if someone is playing them on some tape recorder and keeps upping the volume with every repeat.

_Sasuke is dead!_

The chant begins in your head and you cover your ears to ward off the noises that are echoing. You close your eyes to erase the face you see so clearly in your mind's eye. Those dark eyes, that slow, enchanting smile he would shower on you, those desirous lips as they sucked on the butt of a cigarette, his pale skin, everything just plays in your head like a movie.

Sasuke who loved you, Sasuke who wanted you back, Sasuke who was stupid enough to try and replace you, Sasuke whom you rejected, Sasuke who could never be such a fucking  _coward_ that he would have the audacity to jump into the river because he could not live without you.

This can't be true.

A slow smile makes across your face as you think of it as one of Sasuke's ploys to get you back. The smile increases with every passing second till you lean against the toilet bowl and puke out your guts.

You're still throwing up when Gaara comes and pushes your hair back with his hand. You pull your face from the bowl and grab his hand. "Gaara," you say and laugh humorlessly. He just looks at you confused. "Gaara, Neji says Sasuke is dead," you say now laughing at the hilarity of the thought.

You watch the way blood drains from your boyfriend's face. He grabs you by the shoulders and stares at you real hard.

You laugh when you see his stricken expression. "What a joke!" you tell him laughing hard and clutching your stomach to ward off the ache in your stitches at the thought.

But Gaara isn't listening to you. He is bending down and picking up the phone on the floor and pressing numbers hastily. He doesn't look the least bit amused and a bit of the humor dies off your face. He talks to someone on the phone but your ears have gone mercifully numb. Sasuke's face falls in front of your eyes once again and you are taken back to the time in high school when you first met him.

You recall this one time in high school during a fight when he had pretended to be so sick you'd thought he had almost died and you had raced from your apartment to his, only to see him standing at the foyer with his arms crossed across his chest regarding you with an amused expression on his face. The punch you had delivered to his perfect face had totally been worth it.

Vaguely you think maybe he needs another dose of that as you sit on your haunches and then your eyes come in contact with Gaara's, or precisely with the look in his aquamarine eyes.

With strength you didn't know you possessed, you make your way across the apartment in a matter of seconds and are out of the apartment before Gaara can grab you and hold you back.

Your throat aches and your lungs burn as you race to his apartment.  _This time,_ you promise yourself as you take a sharp right and almost run into an old man,  _the punch is going to be so strong that the bastard will have a dislocated jaw._

You make it to his apartment in what would have been record time and the sight of men in police cars, talking on their walkie-talkies takes you by surprise.

But only for the fraction of second, because the next second you really think he went overboard with this charade. Really now, you think as you roll your eyes heavenward, making people dress up as cops was not going to make you believe something as trash as that. To top it off, using Neji for making the call? Neji is one of the people Sasuke least interacts with. Only because they are together in their Modern Japanese class doesn't mean Sasuke is close to Neji or anything. Hell the only person Sasuke is close to is you. But then again, Sasuke staged this entire drama for you so maybe using Neji is quite the perfect touch to it. Honestly, you marvel at Sasuke's expertise in strategy.

You move closer to the cops and smile at them. "I have come," you say and roll your eyes when the cop looks at you confused, "you may go now," you smile pleasantly at the man who immediately narrows his eyes at you and mumbles something into his walkie-talkie. You think that maybe he is informing Sasuke of your arrival and you wait patiently till he finishes his little speech.

You sigh when the cop puts down his device and regards you with a mean look. "Who are you?" he asks and you laugh in disbelief.

"You don't know me?" you ask pointing at yourself. "You don't know me?" you take a step forward and rest a hand on his beefy shoulder. "Fine," you murmur softly deciding to humor him by playing the role of the innocent. "I am Uzumaki Naruto and the guy who has been ordering you to do this, is my best friend Uchiha Sasuke." You raise an amused eyebrow at him which turns irritated as the man takes the hand on your shoulder and puts it down. You just smile at him and cross your arms again. "Now can I go in?"

The cop stares at you as if you have lost your mind as you just roll your eyes as you push past him and try to get into the house. The cop grabs you by the arm and then there is another man coming forward and flashing his ID card at you.

"Mr. Uzumaki," mind having a little talk with me?" he says and you just stare at his card enough to see that it's genuine but before you can read his name, he puts it back in his pocket.

You stare at him defiantly your mind rejecting everything happening around you. It is still stuck on the page that this is one of Sasuke's nasty plans but you realize with a sinking heart that his strategy is going really well because the onset of fear is begging to set in. "Can this wait a minute?" you ask.

He looks at you and then looks heavenward. Finally he sighs and asks, "Why?"

"I need to go in and check on Sasuke," you say the answer already formed before he had even opened his mouth and asked it.

The exasperated look on his face turns into one of genuine concern and sweat breaks out on your brow and your palms. You wipe them against your shorts to ward off some of the tension and raise an inquiring eyebrow at him.

"Sasuke is dead," he says in a cold, colorless voice.

You go berserk. It's the best way to describe the havoc you create right there in the middle of the road with three cops holding you down and it is not till you've seen his bloated cold body that the truth seeps in. Honestly you don't even know if you were allowed to see it but all you know is that one second you're standing there trying to scratch the cop's face and the next second a pale hand was dragging you into a car and then you find yourself standing beside the dead body of a man you had once loved with every fiber of your being.

And then you see nothing.

When you come to, Gaara is seated beside you with a glass of water in his hand and looking extremely worried. The questions are all there racing in your head while your heart turns with a plethora of emotions in your chest.

You know somewhere deep down that it is your fault that this happened but the simple fact that your brain is just not ready to accept it is. You think you knew Sasuke as you give Gaara a bitter smile and accept the water he pushes into your hands but for things to have come to this? You lie back and tell Gaara to leave you alone for some time. He looks a little skeptical given your condition but then finally he leaves, and you are glad for that because sitting alone in your room gives you time to think.

You look back to that night on Gaara's birthday and go through every detail of the encounter with Sasuke, of every word that he said, his every expression. You know you were not dense when you had studiously avoided the look of desperation on his face, the tears when they fell from his eyes, the sadness he evoked in you but then at the time you had made the right decision given the way Sasuke had treated you those past three years and the added knowledge of the way Gaara had loved and cherished you. But for Sasuke to do something as  _cowardly_ as suicide, it sounded surreal.

But the truth is out there and having witnessed it with your own eyes only makes the pain ten thousand times worse. You think about the future. Would you have gone back to him in time? True you have feelings for Gaara now but how long could this saccharine sweet relationship of candies and hearts have survived? Life wasn't perfect with Sasuke and even though there were times when he treated you like shit, he still cared about you, enough to go crazy and think of replacing you and then finally giving up and coming to you, forgoing his pride,  _begging_  you to take him back. It really makes you think now about how much Sasuke actually loved you.

Surprisingly, even though desolation and despair grip your heart tight and grasp it in their steel grip, the tears don't come. You just sit there with your knees drawn up and all the love and longing you had kept bottled up inside you for the stupid,  _stupid_ man flows through your veins, the tears don't come. It's like you have lost the ability to cry. You just sit there idly gazing at the plain blue cotton sheet under you with unseeing eyes and it is only when Gaara comes in that you take in the darkness of the room.

You look up, lost in your thoughts of Sasuke and the times you two spent together, and stare at Gaara's face hard. Then you tell him to get out again.

From that night the nightmares begin. Sometimes they just come in the form of Sasuke yelling things at you, telling you how you it was you who forced this to happen. Other times he is just there with pain and betrayal in his eyes staring at you till his eyes go lifeless, till his body turns bloated and you know that if you were to touch him then in your dream, it would be cold.

You have lost count of the number of nights you wake up in cold sweat with a silent scream only to have Gaara's arms around you, comforting you back to sleep. It becomes so bad that you are afraid of closing your eyes and you know if this continues any further you are going to lose your mind.

You know Gaara is genuinely worried about your failing appetite, your insomnia and the fact that you have been skipping classes for god knows how many days, but because you always snap at him at the slightest tinge of concern he has kept his mouth shut.

It is nearly twenty days after the insomnia set in that the fear seeps in. It holds you tight, choking you oh-so-slowly whispering sweet promises of death and killing and it always takes the face of Sasuke. It becomes so strong that you even begin to see Sasuke's face everywhere. Like an amateur after his first killing, you pace around your apartment like a caged animal and begin to see Sasuke's face everywhere. He is there when you sit down on the dining table and he is there when you go to the bathroom.

You go and see a shrink and think it might help but all those smart mouthed people with a I-can-help-you-look on their faces do is nothing but sweet talk and provide you with a bottle of sleeping pills which Gaara keeps in his custody much to your chagrin.

One night when sleep still evades you and lie in the dark with your back to Gaara just staring idly at the picture of the two of you on your nightstand, you realize you can't go on like this. You are tired and exhausted beyond belief. But above everything else, there is pain – an ache which possesses your insides and you slowly make your way to the bathroom and decide to end it once and for all.

You know it is what that stupid ex-boyfriend of yours wants. You just know it deep down in your bones that Sasuke wants you with him.  _Isn't this what he wanted from the start,_   _to be together as one – as Naruto and Sasuke,_  you ask yourself, as you make your way towards the cabinet over the washbasin and take out the bottle of sleeping pills you had so cleverly coaxed out of Gaara.

Slipping out a few into your palm you consider the pros and cons of your actions. You've never been pegged as a coward but going down the same road as him seems like the only plausible solution. So with your eyes closed, a sorry note to Gaara already on your nightstand you take the handful of pills and hope it is for the best.

 _Maybe it was destined to be like this,_  you think as you begin to lose consciousness and grip the edge of the washbasin when your feet refuse to support you,  _maybe you were always supposed to be his._

_Maybe you really were irreplaceable…_

* * *

**End**


End file.
